Family Portrait #1

Moments.Well. Shared.

This is my favourite photo so far. Hope we can get more of this -- nanti. In fact this is our first all-together photo since we've been here. It's not easy to get someone ambilkan gambar. This one was taken with help from a 'facility structure' available around the uni's lake. : ) 

Darn sejukkz that time.The lake was frozen! We were trembling, tapi since the campus was all empty (New Year break) making the lake all ours. 

Intann : Freezing all merry moments.

xx  DreamSnugger  xx

Little things that I miss..

Only God knows how I hate writing about things that will make me sad or down. I need those perky-ness feelings and attitude back in to my life, giving me strength to start a brand new day.

I miss my sincere smile and giggles. I miss the yay moments I had when watching football. I miss the great feelings that enveloped me when I grabbed the keys going nowhere but having fun - with anyone I like. I miss miming along with the songs on the radio, some songs in fact made me jump sebab rasa macam teenage balik bila dengar that particular piece. I miss the solitude-moments I once had, having fun with my own emotions, talking to my thoughts, and every single things that filled my day with sunshines. Those sensation feelings -- where I don't have to go and look for them, they're simply part of me. Like the cowboys. No worries. No problems. Just me, living the great moments.

Where have they gone?

xx  DreamSnugger  xx

What-ta-head-ache!

Since yesterday evening, I feel heavy-headed and there's some stingy echoing sounds coming from inside my left ear. It got worst when we were at the Victoria Park playground (with huge sand place - so that Ezzah can get her jumping-frenzy-therapy session after months of hibernating). The strong wind turned my ear into chime - and I felt like it was coming out! One moment I was grasping for air, another minute I have to stop myself and relaxed my lungs. That didn't feel good at all.

We had to stop by at Iceland - to buy some veges and milk. Nak masak untuk jamuan kat rumah Hefni nanti. Once we got home, I almost fainted. I lost my balance and skidded on the shoe place making all the stuff I bought scattered on the floor. I sat down for a couple of minutes before getting up again. The moment I removed all of my jackets and sweaters, I felt like a stream of current running through my body. Terus rasa nak muntahhh! Which I did - and then after - I was as weak as the sayur lama dalam peti ais..smashed and flat.

I will save your time from guessing. NO I am not pregnant. But I do not know what had caused me this. Too much caffein from the cokes and coffees? Or too much chips? Or, I didn't balance up my life routine with walking etc? Anything I'm allergic with? Not that I know.. What could it probably be..?? Especially the dengungs in my ear. I remember Juwita once said about the dengung stuff years ago - and hers was due to fatiqueness. Tak tau where to start the guess sebab I did not take any drugs at the moment. Can somebody fill me up with clues?? There is a lot of "what if's" dalam mind ni.. *frowned*

What has agitated me even more is that how this country is running the health-casualty system. I wonder what would happen to me (and us) if we need to see a physician - tapi stalled sebab they have such a long procedures  that we have to abide. I was told that - even we got an emergency - we still need to call the health place for an appointment (be it like 1 hour in advanced). Showing up terus will mean "sesi menunggu sehingga sawan" la kita kat situ. Gila. Then tak payah lah letak sign "Emergency" tu if there's no relevant point. Hmm. Maybe, its just me - sebab orang kat sini don't even bother the system they're having. Diorang ni jangan charge (with ridiculous cost) aje, marah lah.

I browsed through some pages in the internet. From the symptoms - I was diagnosed with Vertigo (mesti sebab I wrote down "lost balance" tu). But they said  (the so-called online doctors) - I should need to consult a physician if;

1. I got a blurry vision (one side or both)

2. Vomitting continuously. Well, this two dah cukup for me to rush to the nearby physician!

3. Dan banyak lagi ....Scawwwy! 

Intann : I refrain myself from coffees and cokes at the moment. Perhaps I should stick to pisang, kan??

xx  DreamSnugger  xx

Ezzah's Favourite

Check out the list of stuffs on the Britz TV - CBeebies Channel : which make Ezzah frenzy most of the times. On second thought, just see what they have done to make her mama glue-stucked as well. Ngee..

                                                                 Hmm.. Lau Lau and friends

Normally, everyday at 6pm sharp Ezzah will ask us to 'change the channel, mama..it's twelve o'clock niiii..' Main belasah je sebut jam. She knows when it's gelap outside, time for Waybuloo dia la tu. The things about these pelik creatures - they have such irritating-soft-shrieking-voice. Pening jugak nak layan tengok this program sampai habis, tapi - as long as it's decent for child viewing, then that's fine with me. Shrieking pun shrieking lahh.. 

Right after that - In the Night Garden plak.

                                                                    The weird gang

They have this short poem, which Ezzah loves. She would jump towards any one of us; holding out her palm so we can run our fingers spirally.

Round and round

A little boat - no bigger than your hand

Out in the ocean, 

far away from land..

Take the little sail down

Light the little light

That is the way

To the garden in the night..

Okey. Freaky. Mama pulak yang ingat. Yang ni actually lagi letih. I think it's meant for toddlers - for the characters are all mumbling their names all the while. With again; loud-shrieking sounds from the weird carriages called the 'Ninky-Nonk' and 'Pinky-Ponk'. Whatever.

Next - Bedtime stories. This should be the sign for kids pegi tido. Tapi bukan Ezzah la.. dia layan cerita aje. Time tido dia memang 4-5 jam lagi. Cuma mama dia ajer yang dok tunggu nak tengok yang ni sebab the saja je they put some hunks actors as storytellers. Ada ka letak Richard Armitage, Gary Barlow, Toby Stephens etc. etc..?  Ish..ish.. terpaksa la. *grinn*

Gary Barlow - cerita pasal gajah masa krismas baru ni 

                                                                  Toby jadi pirate.. : )

Lain-lain yang Ezzah suke, which I guess the whole kids kat Britain ni suke yalah Mr. Tumble. Dressed up a  clown, Tumble ni comes in 4 ke 5 characters ntah. Dia jugak Mr Tumble, dia jugak Grandad Tumble, dia jugak Lord Tumble. Memang meant for kids - but one thing pleasant about his program is that - they give opportunities to disabled kids. It's heartening to see the kids in wheelchairs, some mute; all were rejoicing their moments with Justin Tumble. He teaches sign-language too. Have his way with kids I suppose.

 

                                                                        The Tumbles

Lassttt skali, kena paksa nyanyi pulak ngan dia. : )

The time has come - to say goodnight

To say sleep tight till the morning light

The time has come - to say goodnight

It's the end of a lovely day.....

We have so much fun today

Tomorrow's just a dream away

Now it's time - to say good night

At the end of a lovely dayyyyy.........

Owh. Lupa. Scream scenes.

"Mama! Six-zero-zero!!" If I was not looking.

"Papa! Six-zero-zero!!" If Papa was not looking. 

To the "See you tomorrow morning at 6.00 am" screen. *sigh*

                                                 Ada rupa macam nak sleep tak..??

xx  DreamSnugger  xx

Cuti dah nak habes..??

Diversion. Diversion.

Exactly 1 week to 2nd semester. Rasa macam kecik-kecik dulu dok kira hari - tanak pi sekolah. Sugarbunchs are still asleep. Ezzah malam2 before she sleeps, dok mintak benda bukan-bukan. If she sees the ads or cartoons on TV-showing something, mulalah dia pun merepeks.

Been browsing notes for the next term just now- I'd say : tougher it seems for the first glance. Hope jangan la banyak sangat-sangat courseworks like last term. Mengong sekejap rasanya. I just can't imagine those who are doing part-time - with works and stuff. Erghh.. nak muntah! 

What to do next??

Arranging + compiling moodle notes from last term - boleh tahan banyak. Checked. Nak print? No way. My ink cartrigde can only accomodate approx. 200 pages - which equal to 3-4 reports. Will leave it in softcopy mode forever I guess. Have to be picky - sebab each time of ink refill will cost me 30 pounds! Simpan untuk reports saje lah ye. Itu belum price for binding.

Isk..Lapar lah pulaks..

Tomorrow, sampah day. Sabtu, no plan. Sunday : looking forward nak pegi Hefni's place for CNY celebration. Hmm..looks like party tu will be dominated by the same bunch of Malays. Chinese friends mostly have their own plans and wouldn't be in town that day. So, akan jadi some sort of jamuan raya melayu la nanti. Worst still, me takde clue nak masak ape nak bawak ke sana. Harry dah chop nak bawak sandwich. Kasi can lah dia buat yang simple sebab he's still mrs-less. Dok selongkar resipi senang-senang la kat intenet nih - hoping for a light that helps!

xx  DreamSnugger  xx

Get over it, and I mean - now..

The last 3 days had been filled with tears. Really, I don't think you want to see what's inside my head. I've never felt more screwed up...or I guess I should say - uncertain. Everything in my life right now is uncertain. Everything. I am - I'm the type of girl who cry a lot....but I've cried more the past few days than I have in the past two years. Anything (and I mean ANYTHING) will set me off. I take a shower....I cry. I watch TV....I cry. I sit here blogging....I cry. Definitely not a lie...very stressed.

I am learning a lot about myself lately. I keep myself busy doing house-stuff and cooking (masak tipu-tipu). Because if I am busy, I don't have time to think about all of the uncertainties. Oh, there's that word again....uncertainties. Right now, we have about 4 major decisions based on ONE THING. And of course that ONE THING is up in the air. You know I would give details if I could. But I can't. So....we wait. And until this ONE THING is answered, we have a lot of uncertainties. Until this ONE THING is answered....I cry. I cry a lot.

But Mr. Papa and Ezzah have been unbelievably supportive. I think, in our 5-years of marriage and after we moved to Bath, this is the first time that we really communicate. I can speak my heart and all my miseries to him, and he delivered his thoughts too. He does understand. And of course, I, too, understand that - we have been under some 'remote-control-circumstances' (of which - not me) before this; the 'ín-laws' who were determined to shape our life (every aspects, okey) based on their ideal life. I was not capable of realizing that at the first place; and I admit - that was the chief reason why Mr. Papa lips was zipped tight. So, now that I know - I shall remind myself to think sensibly and try to be in his shoes pulak.

Just when I thought I had absolutely no more energy to add anything else to my lifestyle...that all changes. I need to move on. As much as it hurts me to say this, I already feel so much stronger. Maybe (but don't hold your breath), I just might show you how recovered and positive I am when this is all over (but seriously, don't hold me to it!). But, we shall keep ourselves refrigerated, still. That won't change until summer comes.

Yes, life hurts sometimes. That's nature I guess. 

xx  DreamSnugger  xx

Drowned again..

I was just about to post some story about Pires on Sunday; of how he made my day by showing up on the TV scoring his first goal for Aston Villa - when all of the sudden, without any spesific reason, I decided to call home. And that call has crushed me into pieces. All the questions thrown by Mom - put me in complete silence. I was enormously devastated, and angry - of myself. I will not blame anyone else; for it is all my mistakes. 

Happiness turns into misery in split seconds. I still bear the pain, for it will not go away - until its all over. All I need is a second chance.

I have learnt my lessons. I am a new person now.

xx  DreamSnugger  xx